The 5 Lies Lawyers Have Bought Into: Lie Number 3 - You Must Be Available 24/7.

Cell phone. Text message. Email. Lions. Tigers. Bears. Oh my!


I think Steve Jobs was a genius, but part of me absolutely despises him for being what I view of the enabler of the lie all lawyers are told: you have to be available 24/7. That thought is balderdash! It actually sets lawyers up for failure. 


There are no fewer than two reasons why failure is the only result of being available 24/7.


First, there is a concept in sales you should under promise and over deliver in order to create clients who are evangelists for you and your work. This concept is true for lawyers as well because we all know a 100% referral-based business is the holy grail of any law practice. If you can create that, your client creation is a flywheel that, in essence, is a perpetual motion machine.


If you set the expectation with others you are available 24/7 and will respond immediately, you can only fail! There is no way you can keep batting 1.000. Ain’t happening, my friend. People will remember that one time you didn’t keep your promise and respond relatively immediately. That’s failure and that’s what you’ll be remembered for.


Second, and perhaps more importantly, if you’re available 24/7 why in the world did you become a lawyer? You could go work in retail, fast food, or any grocery store, and get decent benefits, get paid a living wage, and be able to unplug after your 8.5 hour shift. You’d be able to have a LIFE! You could find that illusive work-life blend we all seek. You would have freedom! Instead, by being available 24/7, you’re creating a cage, albeit a platinum one with presumably high pay and at least a modicum of respect. 


I’m here to tell you, you DO NOT have to, nor should you be, available 24/7. 


This all comes down to setting reasonable expectations with clients and any other people you interact with on a daily basis. Set your heuristics (the rules you live by) and stick to them.


When I had an active legal practice, I let clients know I would typically return emails within 12 hours and voicemails within 24 hours. I would also tell them I would not be available after 6 p.m. my time and, if they attempted to contact me, to not expect to hear from me until the following day. Same for opposing counsel. Same for my law partners. 


Those were the my rules. 


The benefits of setting those rules at the outset of my engagements was that I was able to unplug and be fully present with my family and in my community, absent the week leading up to and including jury trials. I also set myself up to exceed my client’s expectations because, occasionally, I would respond to a message immediately or closely after receiving it. My clients became my evangelists and my client pipeline was full of pre-qualified, closer-to-ideal, clients.


You have to get the thought you must be available 24/7 out of your head. It doesn’t serve clients, your law practice, your family, your community. It simply does not serve you.

The 5 Lies Lawyers Have Bought Into: Lie Number 2 - If you're not busy, your lazy.

Picture the hamster on its wheel or, for those with more refined taste, Sisyphus pushing his boulder up the hill. 

There’s a bill of goods we’re sold from the moment we enter law school, that is double-downed on when we practice law: 

If you’re not busy, you’re lazy.

I’m here to tell you it’s a bunch of crap and, in fact, the opposite is true.

I believe busyness is laziness. Let me explain.

We all have 168 hours each and every week. That’s all the time we have. Period. We can’t make any more. The decisions you make for what goes into your 168-hour pie is where the real work is. If you’re lazy here, then you’ll be busy, busy, busy, everywhere else. 

But what are you busy doing? Are you busy doing your high-leverage work. The work only you can do? Are you taking ideal cases from ideal clients that give you energy and excitement? Are you saying no to virtually every opportunity that comes your way?

This isn’t just me talking here. According to Inc., Warren Buffett believes: “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.” Steve Jobs famously said: “Focus is about saying no.” Tim Ferris, best-selling author of “The 4-Hour Work Week” wrote: “Being busy is a form of laziness—lazy thinking and indiscriminate action. Being busy is most often used as a guise for avoiding critically important but uncomfortable actions.”

Please don’t come here believing, as a successful lawyer, you’re some kind of unicorn to whom the rules don’t apply. Don’t tell me these people who have dented the universe in their own unique way got it all wrong when it comes to attorneys in general and you in particular.

Please, stop lying to yourself. Please, stop listening to others’ lies. 

Any coach worth her or his salt can help you build a system to attract ideal clients and make decisions based on what is important to you. A good coach can help you build guardrails so your 168-hour week is filled with meaningful work. That is, frankly, the easy part.

The hard part is finding a coach who can help you radically rewire your mindset so you can learn to block out the voices - both external and the voice in your head - that tell you if you’re not busy you’re lazy. 

I am that kind of coach if you’re ready to do the work. Here’s what sets me apart from any other coach on the planet:

  • Your bullshit doesn’t scare me

  • I will never shame or “should” you

  • You cannot convince me you aren’t great

Are you ready to get to work transforming your life?

The 5 Lies Lawyers Have Bought Into: Lie No. 1 - You have to grind all of the time to be a successful lawyer.

When you take time during your work day to walk or simply zone out, do you feel guilty? When you shut it down at the end of your day do you worry someone will question your dedication? When you’re not head-down focused for days on end are you worried you won’t achieve your goals? All of these thoughts, and countless others, are based on a lie you’ve been told: You have to grind all of the time to be a successful lawyer.

It’s total nonsense. Frankly, it’s worse than nonsense, it’s bullshit, it’s destructive, and it results in less success, not more. If you want to be successful (no matter how you define that word), you simply cannot grind all of the time.

Look no further than Olympic and professional athletes. Those at the very top of their game do not grind for hours on end. Instead, they break their days down into three types of activities: planning, focused work, recovery. There’s a reason they go about their business this way: it works. Period.

Elite athletes also use a system called periodization. They build in times of less intense work over the months of training and competition. These periods of less intense work always come on a regular basis and after intense work has been happening. 

Instead of this type of process, lawyers are told we have to grind to be successful.

There’s an alternative to grinding that will move you closer to success more quickly than grinding. That alternative is being able to enter a state of flow where you have your neurochemistry work for you. It is a process that enables you become up to 500 times more productive, elevates the quality of your work, your clients are served better than they’ve ever been, and, literally, changes your life. It’s called flow. Flow can certainly help you get out of the grind. It’s a system you can put in place.

But learning all about flow and how to trigger it isn’t enough. 

Instead, your mindset needs to be radically rewired so that you don’t get trapped by this and other lies lawyers are told. With a new mindset, you’ll learn to set your own course, define what true wealth means for you - hint, it ain’t all about the Benjamins - and chart your own course.

Are you ready? Click here to schedule a 30-minute discovery session.

AUTONOMY: OWNERSHIP ISN'T AUTOMATIC

I believe every human being has the absolute right to autonomy, to choose their own destiny. The thing is, autonomy isn’t self-executing. Put another way, ownership isn’t automatic. This belief came into stark relief for me in around 2010. 

 

If you’ve read my prior post about my belief in service, you know about my background. I’ve had three chapters of service in my adult life: Chapter 1 - Registered Respiratory Therapist; Chapter 2 - Lawyer; Chapter 3 - Coach for accomplished seekers.

 

Here’s the brutal truth. Up until about 2010, I was rudderless. I didn’t have a vision, a life plan, or anything big to draw me forward. Sure, I had made decisions in my life, but they weren’t strategic or meaningful.

 

Professionally, I became an Registered Respiratory Therapist and moved to San Diego; I decided to become an attorney and, through dedication and focus, did quite well in law school; I decided to move to Boise and accept a clerkship at the Idaho Court of Appeals; I decided to open a law firm in 2006 with two of my friends. Personally, I decided to marry my best friend Michelle; I decided to be a truly present parent to Allie. But, honestly, I didn’t have any plan; I didn’t have a north star. 

 

I was sitting along the Boise River watching the rafters float by on a hot summer’s day. Just another ordinary day up until that point. Then the image of a raft floating by jolted me. I sat bolt upright. My life was like one of those rafters, but without any paddles. I was at the whim and the will of the river of my life. I could wind up safely at the end of my journey, or I could wind up coming up short because I was pushed into the bank. I could experience the satisfaction of a completed trip, or I could be plunged into the strainers that dot the river and my life could be in jeopardy. My ultimate destination wasn’t up to me…it was up to the river! I realized then my autonomy wasn’t self-executing, that ownership over my life and my destiny was not automatic.

 

On that day I vowed to put both my oars in the water. I was an autonomous being with the ability to choose my own destiny, chart a path to achieving that future, and become a different person along the journey.

 

Ask yourself: “Do I have both oars in the water? Am I doing all I can to own my life; my destiny?” Working with me, you’ll learn what it means to really own your future; to design it; to be drawn to it; to achieve it. We’ll radically re-wire your mindset so that you get out of your own way when setting and achieving big things, the things you were put on the planet to achieve, re-define your legacy, and re-design your systems. We’ll reclaim your life so you experience an enhanced sense of meaning, and full and satisfying relationships. You’ll become the leader you were meant to be, a leader living with purpose and intention.

 

If you’d like to learn more about what a coaching relationship with me can mean to you, CLICK HERE to reserve a 30-minute appointment with me.




SERVICE: DOING FOR OTHERS IS HONORABLE; DOING FOR OTHERS AND YOURSELF IS NOBLE

I believe in service; in fact, service is my number one core value. Everyone believes doing for others is honorable; and it is. Doing for others is not the ultimate level of service. Doing for others and yourself is noble.


I have served others all of my adult life. The first chapter of service was when I was a Registered Respiratory Therapist working in hospitals in New York City, New Jersey, and San Diego. I served critically ill patients at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, those with life-threatening illness, and those with horrific traumatic injuries. The second chapter of service was my legal career where I served plaintiffs in employment matters and, ultimately, those accused of crimes, from the most petty to the most serious. As you might imagine, serving in these capacities was taxing, stressful, and draining. 


It was during this almost thirty years of service that I came to realize



There was an aha moment, though. A moment when I came to realize the most important part of serving, of doing for others. A moment of such clarity I’ll never forget it. It holds the same power of nostalgia as, say, remembering where you were when Neil Armstrong stepped foot on the moon (yes, I remember that), or where you were when the Challenger exploded (yes, I remember that), or where you were when President Regan was shot (yep, I remember that too). It has this power because it, quite literally, was the day my life changed forever. 



My turning point was a snowy December night in 2007. It had been thirteen months since we had opened Kormanik, Hallam & Sneed LLP, the law firm I co-founded with two of my best friends, Guy and Brad. I had been working hard to serve my clients and grow the practice. I had been focused on ensuring my partners’ families experienced the success which we would create with our work. I was hell-bent on ensuring our staff was engaged and treated well. I was making certain my wife and daughter were taken care of. But I knew I wasn’t at my best, that I wasn’t fulfilling my full potential for my partners, our staff, or our families. There was one aspect of service missing.



On that snowy December night, I came to realize that doing for others is honorable, but doing for others without serving your own needs is a recipe for, if not disaster, certainly falling short. It was on that night I realized serving others and yourself is noble. In fact, without the critical component of self-serving, the system breaks down and you wind up serving from a less-than position: less-than your best, less-than all out, less-than sustainable.



People will tell you serving yourself is selfish. It isn’t. They will say doing for others and ignoring your own needs is noble. That’s complete and utter bullshit.



You can’t possibly do for others in the way you want to without also focusing on doing for yourself. The fact of the matter is, to serve others to the greatest extent, you must, at times, come first. 



Does that feel uncomfortable for you? Do you think that’s selfish? Do you also recognize there’s truth to what I believe?



If I’ve described your reaction, we should have a conversation and explore whether a coaching relationship between us could level up your service of others. Working with me we’ll dig deep and identify what the core thought behind your discomfort for you to hold up and explore. Doing this work will allow you to serve others in your law practice — colleagues, staff, clients — in your family, and in your community to an extent you never believed possible. I’ll help you get out of your own head, ignore what others say about self-service, which will, ultimately, lead you create extraordinary wealth through greater legacy, impact, freedom, and energy (L.I.F.E.). Simply put, you’ll go from honorable to noble.



If you’d like to learn more about what a coaching relationship with me can mean to you, CLICK HERE to take a short survey and reserve a 30-minute appointment with me.



POTENTIAL: HUMANITY IS HUNGRY FOR YOUR GREATNESS

I believe in the limitless potential of every human being. In fact, I think humanity is hungry for your greatness regardless of what the voice in your head may be telling you.. 


I was raised in a moderately religious Episcopalian family. Which is to say we attend church most Sundays, I was an altar boy, etc. So, I was raised to believe we were all made in God’s image. How could anyone made in God’s image not have limitless potential, not have greatness within themselves? 


Slowly, over time, my belief system changed; the reasons are for another day. 


I came to believe instead that, because we are all made of the stuff of the stars (look it up if you don’t believe me, according to scientists, nearly all of the elements that make up the human body were made in stars). If that was true, think of what it took for you, me, everyone on the planet, to come into existence. Although I may no longer be a religious person, I am deeply spiritual. That deep spirituality leads me to the same conclusion: we all have limitless potential and have greatness within us. Because this is true, humanity as a whole not only wants you to be great, it is hungry for your greatness. (If you haven’t read my post on DIGNITY, this is follows naturally from my belief in the dignity of all people.)


To be clear, greatness has nothing to do with the amount of money you amass nor does it have to do with winning or losing. Greatness, as I define it, means living up to your individual potential in the truest sense of the word. It is being able to look in the mirror and, with brutal honesty, say you’ve reached, and done all you could to the best of your current ability and, if I’m being honest, even beyond that current ability. It means challenging yourself to grow, every day. It means being a bit uncomfortable because it is in that discomfort, that reaching, that growth occurs. 


There was a time, a few years ago, when I looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself whether I was living up to my full potential and, with brutal honesty, I said “no.” That was the moment I decided I needed someone on the outside to challenge me in ways I couldn’t challenge myself. A person to help me see my blind spots and who also didn’t have a dog in the fight. A trained individual who would help me to not only cast a big vision (I’ve always been able to dream pretty big), but to then put the systems in place to achieve that big vision by evolving to become a new person. I hired my first coach and my world hasn’t been the same since. 


I challenge you to take that hard look in the mirror. I dare you to be brutally honest with yourself. Ask the question: “Am I living a life that is the fullest expression of all I am?”  If your answer makes you slump over and feel like you’ve been punched in the gut (either figuratively or literally), we should have a conversation about working together. Because working with me, a person who knows all about what it is like to have a lawyer brain, will make all the difference. You’ll unlock the platinum cage that keeps you thinking small. You’ll be able to move past that inner voice. You’ll care less about what others say is success and you’ll chart your own path, to your own successful law practice. You’ll amass wealth — legacy, impact, freedom, and energy — beyond your dreams. You’ll finally live up to your limitless potential. 


The work will be challenging and, so, it isn’t for everyone. In fact, the kind of work I do with clients is for a very select few. I work exclusively with lawyers who are accomplished seekers. These are leaders and/or professionals everyone thinks are successful but secretly feel like something is missing. They are actively seeking to reclaim their life, infuse purpose into their career, and live with more joy and intention. They are unique individuals who can be brutally honest with themselves and accept the fact that they need someone who help them level up. 


If you’d like to learn more about what a coaching relationship with me can mean to you, CLICK HERE to reserve a 30-minute appointment with me.


POWER: IT'S WEAKNESS TO ALLOW OTHERS TO DEFINE YOUR SUCCESS

I believe every person is endowed with immeasurable and limitless POWER. Because of this belief, it is weakness to allow others to define your success. 

 

I came to this belief over the course of my entire adult life. It began when I was leaving my childhood home at 271 Cleveland Avenue, Hasbrouck Heights, NJ (exit 16W or 163…IYKYK). On that October 31, 1986, my car was loaded up with my meager worldly belongings. As I hugged and kissed my mother goodbye, she looked me in the eyes and said to me: “You’ll be back in six months.” She thought I would live small in San Diego, and come home. This move was a lark and I would treat it as such. Her definition of success for me was six whole months! Were the first six months in San Diego “easy’? Of course not. Would it have been weakness to turn tail and go home because it wasn’t? Yes. 

 

Next, I was a “success” as a Registered Respiratory Therapist; a career I pursued for over a decade. I moved up and came to not only be excellent in patient care, but as the leader of a team of forty people. When I began exploring changing careers to become a lawyer, some counseled against it. I was married, with a two-year-old daughter, a house, a mortgage, a dog. I was a success in their eyes, why would I want to “throw that all away”? It would have been weak to stay and live what others defined as a successful life. 

 

My belief was finally cemented when I made the decision to leave a successful career as a lawyer and law firm owner to pursue my passion of coaching attorneys. This time, it was the voice in my head that tried to define my success and keep me from moving forward. That voice was the accumulation of all the others’ voices which were akin to a pot of lobsters pulling their escaping comrade back down into the boiling water to die. What would my colleagues think of me; what would the judges I looked up to say? These were the voices of others I played in my head. That recording played until I stepped back and realized allowing those voices to keep me in the practice of law would be the ultimate weakness. Because I believed in my own power to succeed and create something lasting and impactful, I would not allow those voices to hold me back.

 

I used several tools I’ve honed over the years to deal with that inner voice. First, I stepped back and recognized that the voice was trying to keep me safe. Change, any change, is challenging and the human brain hasn’t evolved all that much over the millenia. Next, given that understanding, I knew it was a matter of changing the frame from one of fear to one of excitement because the neurochemicals are identical with both emotions. Lastly, I connected with my vision and realized that, in order for that vision to become a reality, I needed to define my own success. 

 

How do you allow others to define your success? Is it the way you default to money as soon as someone mentions wealth? Is it in grinding because to be seen as not grinding is considered by others to be a sign of laziness? Is it working crazy hours and ignoring your relationships because that’s what society believes is required to be a successful lawyer?

 

If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, you are, I’m sorry to say, being deprived of your POWER. Regardless of how successful the world may think you are; you are, in fact, weak. Think about how much bigger your life could be if you stepped into your power! Working with me as your coach can help you understand the purpose of those voices and, at the same time, develop a strategic plan to move forward towards true success, as only you can define it. We’ll shatter the platinum cage you’ve allowed others to build that holds you in and you’ll think bigger than you ever have before. I will draw back the curtain so you can truly understand the insanity of allowing people, many of whose lives may look “Instagram-worthy” on the outside, to be truly miserable on the inside. We’ll define your future, and you’ll work towards achieving that future each and every day.

 

If you’d like to learn more about what a coaching relationship with me can mean to you, CLICK HERE reserve a 30-minute appointment with me.