DIGNITY: THERE’S NEVER A GOOD REASON TO SETTLE

I believe every person is entitled to the DIGNITY of self-determination. After all, this trait is what makes us uniquely human. But with dignity, comes responsibility; the responsibility to never settle for almost good enough or having any area in your life rate a 5/10. There is never a good reason to settle.

I came to understand my belief there’s never a good reason to settle in my early teen years and have honed and sharpened it throughout the course of my life. When I was fourteen years old, my father died suddenly of his second heart attack. In all honesty, he had settled without dignity for much of the time I can recall. Although he was an entrepreneur, he was unhappy and unfilled. He settled at work, meaning he worked way too many hours, for not enough reward, to the sacrifice of his family and his relationships. He settled with his health because, you see, when he died at 43 years old of a massive heart attack, it was his second one. He did not take care of himself after his first cardiac event at the age of 37. He settled for a small life, a life he thought he could achieve instead of a full life in the years he had. At the end of the day, his time on earth was short and, if I had to hazard a guess, unfulfilling life. We are not promised tomorrow; to me, that means there is never a good reason to settle. In any area of life. Period. 

I found myself following in my father’s proverbial footsteps when I was tempted to settle for my first job out of law school. I had been working for a prosecutor’s office in Southern California during school and was offered a position. The commute was more than two hours each way and involved driving to the train station, taking the train, then taking a bus. Wash, rinse, repeat. Additionally, the work wasn’t exciting. But, I thought: “Hey, it’s a job and pays well.” Then I realized what I was doing and couldn't believe it! I was being tempted to settle because I wasn’t thinking of the second- and third-order consequences of the decision I was going to be making. Thankfully, I caught myself in time and didn’t settle. My life, the life of my family, and the life of my community in Boise are so much better then they ever would have been if I had taken that job. 

Where are you settling for less than you want? Rate yourself in each of the following categories on a scale of 1-10 with 10 meaning that area is all you could ever hope for and 1 meaning you are so far away from great or outstanding that you can’t even think of how you’ll get there. Pay extra attention if you are pulled to rate yourself a 7…that’s a meaningless score and is, in fact, settling in and of itself.

Career/Profession

Personal Finance

Personal Development 

Relationships (Intimate and Social)

Health/Aging

Fun & Enjoyment

Family/Parenting

Spiritual Awareness

The total possible score is 90 because of the two relationships categories. If your aggregate score is greater than or equal to 60, we should explore working together. Working with me as your coach, we’ll take a brutally honest look at these areas of your life and explore why you’re not quite reaching your goals. With an aggregate score of 60 or more, you’re feeling the pain of being close but…not…quite…there. We’ll also make sure you’re not settling, even when you reach what you perceive to be a 10/10 in any category because, frankly, you are thinking too small if you are a 10/10 and not growing as a person. Finally, we’ll have you construct a lawyer-worthy life of legacy, impact, freedom, and energy so that, when your race is run, the only regret you’ll have is you didn’t start working with me sooner.

CLICK HERE to reserve a 30-minute appointment with me.  

MISSION: RECLAIM THE LAW AS A NOBLE PROFESSION

A significant portion of the legal profession appears to be burned out, depressed, and purposeless. The negative consequences range from the scourge of self-medicating with alcohol, prescription and street drugs, to disconnecting from families and communities, to sub-optimal work for clients. The problem gets worse the higher in an organization a lawyer goes. The result: What was once considered to be an honorable occupation, has become a punchline. My mission is to reclaim the practice of law as a noble profession.

For me, law school wasn’t a natural “what’s next.” Instead, I chose the law as my second career of service, which I began in my mid-thirties when I was married and had a two-year old. After graduating in the top of my class, I worked for more than two decades as an attorney in both the public and the private sectors; practiced as an associate in a mid-sized law firm and owned a small practice with two partners. I saw, and experienced first hand, the stress of what being a lawyer could do - to myself, to my family, to my colleagues, and to my community. Living to work without the north star of an overarching vision and deep life purpose, was the most painful experience I have ever had. I was someone who the world deemed successful – I made the money, drove the cars, had the stellar reputation – but knew there was something missing; there had to be something more. I went in search of that “something more,” and found it in a most-unexpected place. It was not “out there” but “in here.” It was in my mindset, it was in my gut, and most of all, it was in my heart. What I discovered led to greater satisfaction as a lawyer and a higher level of service to those around me.

The key that unlocked the box in which I had placed myself was my coach. In fact, the work with my coach led me to understand the absolute power of a coaching relationship and the necessity of having someone beside us to achieve our full potential:  someone without “skin in the game,” someone who understands the fear we face that holds us back, someone who understands our greatness and helps us achieve things we refused to believe possible. Through my experience, and doing the work, with my coach, I came to realize coaching my “brothers and sisters in the law” was my passion. 

The decision to leave a financially successful, engaging, intellectually challenging, and emotionally fulfilling career as a trial lawyer wasn’t an easy one to make; but it was the right one. Now, as a Certified Professional  Coach, I help lawyers achieve success, more success than they ever imagined. I help them see the whole playing field and do the deep work of discovering what it is they want in life and creating a career that not only allows, but virtually guarantees, they’ll get it. The results? A lawyer-worthy life.

When the world says a lawyer is successful, but deep down that attorney knows there’s something missing, that there must be something more, they become what’s known as an “accomplished seeker.” If more attorneys turned inward for the things that are missing from their law practices, they would create the true wealth of legacy, impact, freedom, and energy. They would live the life they could not have dreamt of before crossing the threshold of law school that very first day as a 1L. The practice of law would be noble again.