I believe every person is endowed with immeasurable and limitless POWER. Because of this belief, it is weakness to allow others to define your success.
I came to this belief over the course of my entire adult life. It began when I was leaving my childhood home at 271 Cleveland Avenue, Hasbrouck Heights, NJ (exit 16W or 163…IYKYK). On that October 31, 1986, my car was loaded up with my meager worldly belongings. As I hugged and kissed my mother goodbye, she looked me in the eyes and said to me: “You’ll be back in six months.” She thought I would live small in San Diego, and come home. This move was a lark and I would treat it as such. Her definition of success for me was six whole months! Were the first six months in San Diego “easy’? Of course not. Would it have been weakness to turn tail and go home because it wasn’t? Yes.
Next, I was a “success” as a Registered Respiratory Therapist; a career I pursued for over a decade. I moved up and came to not only be excellent in patient care, but as the leader of a team of forty people. When I began exploring changing careers to become a lawyer, some counseled against it. I was married, with a two-year-old daughter, a house, a mortgage, a dog. I was a success in their eyes, why would I want to “throw that all away”? It would have been weak to stay and live what others defined as a successful life.
My belief was finally cemented when I made the decision to leave a successful career as a lawyer and law firm owner to pursue my passion of coaching attorneys. This time, it was the voice in my head that tried to define my success and keep me from moving forward. That voice was the accumulation of all the others’ voices which were akin to a pot of lobsters pulling their escaping comrade back down into the boiling water to die. What would my colleagues think of me; what would the judges I looked up to say? These were the voices of others I played in my head. That recording played until I stepped back and realized allowing those voices to keep me in the practice of law would be the ultimate weakness. Because I believed in my own power to succeed and create something lasting and impactful, I would not allow those voices to hold me back.
I used several tools I’ve honed over the years to deal with that inner voice. First, I stepped back and recognized that the voice was trying to keep me safe. Change, any change, is challenging and the human brain hasn’t evolved all that much over the millenia. Next, given that understanding, I knew it was a matter of changing the frame from one of fear to one of excitement because the neurochemicals are identical with both emotions. Lastly, I connected with my vision and realized that, in order for that vision to become a reality, I needed to define my own success.
How do you allow others to define your success? Is it the way you default to money as soon as someone mentions wealth? Is it in grinding because to be seen as not grinding is considered by others to be a sign of laziness? Is it working crazy hours and ignoring your relationships because that’s what society believes is required to be a successful lawyer?
If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, you are, I’m sorry to say, being deprived of your POWER. Regardless of how successful the world may think you are; you are, in fact, weak. Think about how much bigger your life could be if you stepped into your power! Working with me as your coach can help you understand the purpose of those voices and, at the same time, develop a strategic plan to move forward towards true success, as only you can define it. We’ll shatter the platinum cage you’ve allowed others to build that holds you in and you’ll think bigger than you ever have before. I will draw back the curtain so you can truly understand the insanity of allowing people, many of whose lives may look “Instagram-worthy” on the outside, to be truly miserable on the inside. We’ll define your future, and you’ll work towards achieving that future each and every day.
If you’d like to learn more about what a coaching relationship with me can mean to you, CLICK HERE reserve a 30-minute appointment with me.