I believe in service; in fact, service is my number one core value. Everyone believes doing for others is honorable; and it is. Doing for others is not the ultimate level of service. Doing for others and yourself is noble.

I have served others all of my adult life. The first chapter of service was when I was a Registered Respiratory Therapist working in hospitals in New York City, New Jersey, and San Diego. I served critically ill patients at the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, those with life-threatening illness, and those with horrific traumatic injuries. The second chapter of service was my legal career where I served plaintiffs in employment matters and, ultimately, those accused of crimes, from the most petty to the most serious. As you might imagine, serving in these capacities was taxing, stressful, and draining. 

It was during this almost thirty years of service that I came to realize

There was an aha moment, though. A moment when I came to realize the most important part of serving, of doing for others. A moment of such clarity I’ll never forget it. It holds the same power of nostalgia as, say, remembering where you were when Neil Armstrong stepped foot on the moon (yes, I remember that), or where you were when the Challenger exploded (yes, I remember that), or where you were when President Regan was shot (yep, I remember that too). It has this power because it, quite literally, was the day my life changed forever. 

My turning point was a snowy December night in 2007. It had been thirteen months since we had opened Kormanik, Hallam & Sneed LLP, the law firm I co-founded with two of my best friends, Guy and Brad. I had been working hard to serve my clients and grow the practice. I had been focused on ensuring my partners’ families experienced the success which we would create with our work. I was hell-bent on ensuring our staff was engaged and treated well. I was making certain my wife and daughter were taken care of. But I knew I wasn’t at my best, that I wasn’t fulfilling my full potential for my partners, our staff, or our families. There was one aspect of service missing.

On that snowy December night, I came to realize that doing for others is honorable, but doing for others without serving your own needs is a recipe for, if not disaster, certainly falling short. It was on that night I realized serving others and yourself is noble. In fact, without the critical component of self-serving, the system breaks down and you wind up serving from a less-than position: less-than your best, less-than all out, less-than sustainable.

People will tell you serving yourself is selfish. It isn’t. They will say doing for others and ignoring your own needs is noble. That’s complete and utter bullshit.

You can’t possibly do for others in the way you want to without also focusing on doing for yourself. The fact of the matter is, to serve others to the greatest extent, you must, at times, come first. 

Does that feel uncomfortable for you? Do you think that’s selfish? Do you also recognize there’s truth to what I believe?

If I’ve described your reaction, we should have a conversation and explore whether a coaching relationship between us could level up your service of others. Working with me we’ll dig deep and identify what the core thought behind your discomfort for you to hold up and explore. Doing this work will allow you to serve others in your law practice — colleagues, staff, clients — in your family, and in your community to an extent you never believed possible. I’ll help you get out of your own head, ignore what others say about self-service, which will, ultimately, lead you create extraordinary wealth through greater legacy, impact, freedom, and energy (L.I.F.E.). Simply put, you’ll go from honorable to noble.

If you’d like to learn more about what a coaching relationship with me can mean to you, CLICK HERE to take a short survey and reserve a 30-minute appointment with me.