Every coach has their core philosophy. For example, Nick Saban, who some consider the GOAT (greatest of all time) of college football coaches, had a core philosophy around “the process” and “being in the moment.” Bill Belichick, who won a slew of Super Bowl championships with Tom Brady and the New England Patriots (but never against my New York Giants!), had core philosophies surrounding “do your job” and improving performance by doing just that, repeatedly. My triathlon coach, Michelle Wiens’s philosophy was “train like you race.” 

Working with outstanding attorneys and empowering them to evolve into world class leaders and human beings is my gig and, of course, I’ve got my own coaching philosophies. I write this to give you a look behind the coaching curtain on the mindset that drives my work and, ultimately, my client’s success.

Truth Versus truth - Our Actions Are Shaped By The Stories We Tell Ourselves.

When you work with me, one of the first things you’ll learn is that there are two types of truth in the world: Capital “T” true things and small “t” true things.  This isn’t simply semantics and understanding this concept is central to growth. 

Capital “T” true things are those like “the sun rises in the east and sets in the west” here on earth (yes, I recognize that, actually, it rises either north or south of due east except on the equinoxes, but this isn’t a science class). Capital “T” true things do not matter where on the planet you are, your educational background, income level, or, for that matter, anything else. Capital “T” true things are, well, True.

Small “t” true things are virtually everything else we think is true. They are based either on the story we tell ourselves about the thing or on a lack of knowledge. For example, one of the things my clients like to address is how to handle “difficult” conversations. In fact, there are no difficult conversations absent some physical ability to actually speak. No, a conversation isn’t difficult at all. Instead, the “difficult” part arises because of the story we tell ourself around the conversation, whether it be our belief the individual won’t take it well, or the information we are sharing won’t be well received, etc. You get the point.

What small “t” truths are you telling yourself?

No Good Or Bad: Everything Is Situational.

Before you say “But what about, say, Hitler?”; let me assure you, I believe there is evil. Hitler would fall into that category. What I’m talking about follows closely with the two types of truth I wrote about above. 

Perhaps an example would be helpful. Let’s say you have a strength of persistence. You’re like a dog with a bone once you decide what ever that bone is you must have or achieve. That’s a plus under certain circumstances and is, of course, one of the key factors making up the skill of grit. That’s how you finished law school, right? 

Now, consider persistence could lead you to continuing to strive to achieve something along a particular path you’ve identified. There are a thousand ways to get to an objective, but if you persist on a path that doesn’t serve you because of a “I’ve started this way, I’ll finish this way,” you’ll expend unnecessary energy and suffer needlessly simply because you’re that dog with the bone. 

The Chinese proverb “The Farmer and the Horse: sets out the principle there is no good or bad beautifully:

Once upon a time, there was an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day, his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. 

"Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.

"Maybe," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses.

"How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.

"Maybe," replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy for his misfortune.

"Maybe," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out.

"Maybe," said the farmer.

Our strengths may not serve us in every circumstance. Our perceived weaknesses, on the other hand, may actually serve us quite well in ways we don’t consider. 

There is no good or bad. Are you capable of operating this way? 

No Person Ever Steps In The Same River Twice.

Every human being carries with them knowledge of what came before in their lives. Sometimes, that knowledge can hold you back from attempting something you’ve tried and fell short on in the past. In my coach training, this mindset is one of the GAILs (Gremlin, Assumption, Inference, Limiting belief). Specifically, it is an assumption, which is the belief, because something happened in the past, it will happen again now. However, such a mindset ignores the reality first described by the ancient Greek Heraclitus:

No person ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and they are not the same person. 

The “river” in Heraclitus’s statement is time and world around you. As we know, the only constant is change. Change in the world feels like it comes faster and faster every darn day. Assumptions ignore the immutable fact of change in the world.

Of course, the second part of Heraclitus’s statement recognizes you, as the individual also is constantly changing. You are different today than you were when you attempted the activity and fell short. You have more knowledge (especially if you invested the time to conduct an after-action review of the situation in which you fell short), skills, and experience than you had in the past. Again, we forget this and simply assume because something happened in the past, it will happen again. 

Assumptions not only prevent you from taking actions you ought to take, they ignore the reality of the evolution of the river and you.

Then Only Thing Holding You Back Is You.

My final coaching philosophy is based on the limitless potential of every single human being. I truly believe everyone is capable of greatness. 

When an attorney tells me they don’t know what to do, I tell them that’s a lazy answer. In the times we live in, the knowledge of the world is literally at your fingertips 📱. You can ask your favorite search engine or AI platform for, example, the five ways to create clients for a trusts and estates lawyer, and voilà, you’ve got your answer. In other words, it’s not a lack of knowledge that holds you back.

Instead, it is your mindset and self-talk that holds you back from achieving the greatness you are capable of. There is a gap between knowledge and action that is created by your self-talk, the frame through which you view the world and your place in it, and the mental box you’ve created for yourself all of which you believe set you in your place in the world. 

You are the only thing holding you back. 

My clients are the best attorneys in their field. They increase revenue, master their time and focus, and improve performance while enjoying more free time and suffering less burnout. You can too. Schedule a complementary 30-minute discovery session with me here, or send me an email.